Friday, September 6, 2013


Saturday August 3rd started like any other day. I was massively pregnant and eager to meet our baby. I had planned a fun filled weekend to keep my mind off that fact that I was past my due date. We had plans to attend fair days and visit with Ben's brother who was in town for the weekend from Oklahoma. I picked out one of the only dresses that still fit me, then headed off to Ben's parents house for a backyard BBQ. I felt funny. I couldn't put my finger on it. But I just felt funny. I wanted to be alone in a dark cold know the way cats act right before they have their kittens. We enjoyed a lovely lunch and then called it a day at 4. I crawled into bed, shut the blinds, and cranked the air conditioning. Dinner time rolled around and all I wanted were pop icicles. Ben insisted that I eat something so we agreed on pizza. I NEVER say no to pizza. Ben headed to the store to grab some pop icicles and pizza. While he was gone I started to get some funny cramps. I chalked it up to yet another pregnancy symptom. Once Ben got home we popped in a movie...Pretty Woman. Because when you are 10 months and 2 days pregnant you get 100% control of the TV.  Ben watched me like a hawk and started timing these little "cramps." By the time Julia Roberts was shopping for a cocktail dress on Rodeo Drive the cramps were getting stronger and consistently 7 minutes apart. This was around 7 PM. We watched the rest of the movie and then things started getting really serious. I wasn't able to talk through the contractions. I decided it was time to get focused and listen to our relaxation recording. We had been training for this moment the way you train for a marathon. We got pregnant the most unnatural way you can (IVF), so we wanted to be as natural as possible. We had practiced our hypo-birthing techniques religiously. We turned on our Rainbow hypo-birthing recording and I could feel the relaxation rush all over me. Don't get me wrong it hurt like hell, but I was able to stay calm and focused as each contraction came at me like a wave. Around 11 PM Ben decided to call our OB. We were delivering at LDS hospital in Salt Lake, roughly 40 minutes away, so we wanted to give ourselves enough time to get down there, but we also didn't want to go too early. We spoke to Dr. Laine and she said it was time to come down. I think I was in denial. Ben acted like your stereotypical first time dad. Running through the house frantically grabbing all of our last minute items while trying to console me through each contractions. We called my parents and told them we were heading to the hospital and that we would be to their place in 10 minutes. We had to drop off Chloe and I wanted my mom in the car to help through the contractions. By the time we hit foothill Drive the contractions were getting longer, stronger, and closer together. We pulled up to the hospital and I waddled in. We got to labor and delivery and rang the doorbell. They asked how they could help us...and I said..."Ummmm...I'm going to have a baby...??? Well not right now...but I think he's coming pretty soon."  I was still in denial. I thought they would be sending us home for sure. They saw how I was acting and they didn't even question  me. They put us in a room immediately and checked me. I was 6 cm and 90% effaced. I couldn't believe it.
This was happening. I decided to get into the birthing tub to relieve some pain. Ben sat next to the tub helping me breath through each contraction. He kept me calm. He kept telling me that each contraction was bringing us that much closer to our sweet baby. He would count down from 40, which was surprisingly helpful. The bath felt good but for a second but then I had this intense pressure. They got me out of the tub to check me again and I was an 8. Everything was happening so fast. I got into my bed and tried to stay focused. I was breathing through the contractions. It was so painful but knowing that I was getting close kept me energized. I knew I could do it. I labored for 30 more minutes and then they checked me again. I was 10 cm and fully effaced. GO TIME!  They went to get the doctor. She told me that the baby was going to be there within the hour, if not in 15 minutes. It was 3 AM by this time. The hands on the clock were spinning out of control. I couldn't believe this was happening. They started warming up the baby bed and the doctor was scrubbed down and told me that on the next contraction it was time to push. I was sobbing out of control, I couldn't believe that I was minutes away from meeting our baby.  The doctor stepped out for a quarter of a second and my water broke. My mom went running down the hall to grab the nurse, she figured the baby was REALLY coming. So they came in to check me again and that's when things took a turn. My bag of water was pushing on my cervix so it made it seem like I was fully dilated, when in reality I was only 6 cm. They didn't want to tell me just yet, which was probably a good idea. They didn't want to take the wind out of my sails. So they told me I had a little longer to go. The contractions were getting out of control. They were on top of each other. I decided to try the birthing ball. Dr. Laine was unbelievable and helped with counter pressure on my back. It had been 2 hours since the false alarm so I begged her to check me again. She checked and didn't say anything. She calmly sat down on my bed and informed me that I was still a 6 and had been since I got to the hospital. Anyone who has been in labor knows that this is possibly the most devastating thing you can hear. At this point I decided to say uncle. I wanted the epidural. I felt like I was spinning out of control. I couldn't get on top of the contractions. I wasn't present anymore. I was fighting it. I was unable to let the baby do what he needed to do. I had been laboring naturally for 10 hours and I was exhausted. The thought of going through one more contraction seemed impossible. Once I decided to get the epidural they couldn't get there fast enough. My sister had arrived when things started to get ugly. I was moaning/screaming so loud she said she could hear me all the way down the hall. She asked my parents if what was going on was normal, they laughed and said...pretty much. Needless to say I don't think she will be having children anytime soon. We had been playing my hypnobirthing recording in the background and  I needed it off. I needed total silence so I could focus. So I told Ben to "Turn the stupid bitch off." Everyone in the room tried their hardest to not crack up. Finally, a man walked in the room with the goods. He told me to roll over and try not to move. I didn't move through 3 contractions...which seemed like a lifetime. All of a sudden I felt a cool rush go down my left leg. Then my right. I couldn't feel a thing below my belly button. I hated the sensation. But I could finally breath.  I was so exhausted. At this point it was 6 AM. I had been in labor for 11 hours. The doctors hooked me up to all the extra monitors that you have to have when you have an epidural. They started to look at the baby's heart rate a little more. I didnt really know what was going on, but I knew it wasn't good. I was in such a haze but I remember hearing his heart rate drop on the monitor. His little heart wasn't handling my contractions so they gave me a drug that totally stopped labor. His heart rate improved. So then they had to start labor up again using pitocin. So much for a natural labor... The second they gave me pitocin his heart rate totally plummeted. I knew exactly what was coming. I didn't want to even think it, let alone say it out loud. But I looked at Ben and just started bawling. I had worked so hard for the last 4 months to have a natural labor. The last 12 hours had been grueling. I had given it all I had. But the baby just wasn't having it. So Dr. Laine came in and said that it was time for a C-section. I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably. That was the LAST thing I wanted. But I had to remind myself that it was best for the baby. We had to give up delayed cord clamping, Ben couldn't cut the cord, no instant skin-to-skin. Everything I had longed for went right out the window. I signed all the paper work they whisked me away within seconds. Ben grabbed the camera and suited up. We got into the OR and they prepped me. Ben was holding my hand reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. I have never been so happy to have my husband by my side, he was my rock. I have never felt so close to him. Having him there rubbing my head and holding my hand was so comforting. 

They made the first incision and I heard the doctor say.."I can see the face! He has cute little lips!" And then I heard the most amazing sound ever. I heard our baby let out the biggest cry. His lungs were working beautifully. They showed him to me for a split second over the drape. I will never forget that face. Ben rushed to be with our baby while they sewed me up. Maxwell Henry Hansen weighed 7.5 pounds and was 21 inches long and was born at 8:56 AM.  

They brought him to my side and his eyes were wide open. He just starred at me. I was in awe. He was the most beautiful, most perfect baby I had ever seen. He was the baby I had longed for and dreamed of. He was here. My heart was so full I thought it might burst. I was on cloud nine. I had such an amazing supportive husband by my side and my beautiful baby boy in my arms.

We were taken back into our labor and delivery room to have a moment alone. Ben and I just looked at him in total awe. I was able to have 2 hours of skin-to-skin and breastfed him right away. He latched on beautifully. He was so perfect and sweet. We sat there and looked into each others eyes. He knew exactly who we were. It was the most amazing moment of my life. Nothing else mattered. I had everything I needed right there in that room. After a little family time we let the rest of our family come into to meet sweet baby Max. There was so much love in that room.


In the end I am just happy that my baby boy is here. He was posterior (sunny side-up) and had the cord wrapped around his little neck. We were told that if I had labored much longer he might have not made it safely. We are so smitten with our little peanut and couldn't be happier that he is here, safe and sound. We are totally and completely in love.

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